Anyways, yesterday I found this free-verse poem that I had written as a teenager.
Perception
People use many things to look for God.
I was no exception.
First, the magnifying glass came in handy.
I examined many things but always kept my proper distance for fear of distortion.
I wasn't seeing what I wanted to see, so I graduated to binoculars. With both eyes open I would surely see something.
Disappointment raged when, again, all I saw were things.
In desperation I grabbed a telescope. If God was not to be found in the universe, all was in vain.
I finally saw! That there was nothing to see.
I ended my search, pulled the glass from my eye, and found Him!
Under my nose.
*****************
What do you think? How does it resonate with your search?
I looked so hard for God that I saw him in the most minute details. Every trial, every joy, every defeat, every triumph, every little detail right down to finding a parking place. I thought he was in everything. I very much resonate with finding him right under my nose.
ReplyDeleteD'Ma
ReplyDeleteI went through that phase too... when I was in a small charismatic church. Hyper aware at every moment of what god might be doing or saying. Pretty exciting.
I think my intent in the poem was to say that when you look for god too hard, desperately searching for "evidence," you can sometimes miss the simple and obvious.
At this point it seems a little like a cop out. I think at the time the poem was an attempt to reassure myself because I had not found the evidence I was looking for.
EI,
ReplyDeleteI saw a comment you made at Terri's blog that indicated your mom just passed away. I'm very sorry to hear that.
doordonot
ReplyDeleteThanks. She died on January 2nd. We had a memorial service for her in my hometown last Sunday. They had one in January in the town she lived in when she died, but I didn't go to that one.
EI,
ReplyDeleteI think my intent in the poem was to say that when you look for god too hard, desperately searching for "evidence," you can sometimes miss the simple and obvious. At this point it seems a little like a cop out.
I always found God in the simple and obvious. All those simple and obvious things had natural explanations, but nevermind that - it was the hand of God. Where I'm having trouble is that I've really never seen God in the big stuff. When the chips have really been down for me or anyone else I know, for that matter, I've not seen the hand of God. Maybe that's being selfish or immature. But my declarations of having experienced him finding me the perfect parking space do seem a little like a cop out. Sure, he'll find me a parking space, but I'm on my own if something really bad happens.
P.S. I'm sorry to hear about your mother. :(
ReplyDeleteD'Ma
ReplyDeleteThanks.